Elevating competence above the comfort of “feeling heard”

In this discourse on leadership and organizational effectiveness, I navigate the nuanced landscapes of competence, merit, and the inherent value they bring to decision-making. While the aim to make everyone feel heard is commendable, it’s imperative to understand its appropriate place within the broader spectrum of our organizational priorities.

The Appropriate Contexts for “Feeling Heard”

Certainly, there are situations where fostering a sense of inclusivity through “feeling heard” is not only beneficial but necessary. Instances such as gathering general or specific feedback, community-driven initiatives, or committee-based decision-making processes highlight where this goal shines. In these scenarios, diverse opinions and feedback can significantly enrich the outcome, whether it’s refining a service or product, addressing workplace culture, or navigating community relations. The value of feeling heard, in these cases, contributes to a more rounded, comprehensive decision-making process.

However, the narrative shifts when we pivot to the realm of business-defining decisions that determine the course of our projects and the future of our company. In these high-stakes environments, the goal of making everyone feel heard must be subordinate to decisive, competent advice. Here, “feeling heard” becomes a byproduct of engaging with skilled, experienced advisors and contributors whose insights can drive our collective success forward. One would expect that those who have the most to offer in such situations also possess the soft skills necessary to assert themselves when they can add value. It’s in the crucible of these critical decisions that the merit and competence of our team are more important than inclusivity.

Confronting Coddle Culture

This brings us to a broader cultural critique — the rise of what has been termed “coddle culture.” This mentality, which prioritizes emotional comfort over performance and contribution, has seeped into various facets of our lives, including the professional sphere. In leadership, our responsibility extends beyond managing feelings to steering our ship through turbulent waters with skill and foresight. The expectation that we cater to the invisible emotional states of our team, to the extent that it overrides the imperative for competence and contribution, is unsustainable.

It must be left to professional adults to look after their own internal emotional state, and either leave or change a situation where they are not comfortable. When we shift the focus of our business leaders to ensuring everyone “feels heard” and away from delivering results, we confuse the goal of business. Work is a competitive landscape and we are here to win. If we spend all our effort looking after the subjective well-being of our weakest contributors rather than the performance of our strongest, we will forfeit our gains to those who employ the traditional strategy. While respect and professionalism must form the bedrock of our interactions, the notion that one can tend to the hidden feelings of another is a fool’s errand.

Emphasizing feelings over contribution invites a paradox where the responsibility for the emotional well-being of individuals shifts disproportionately onto those tasked with making tough, often unpopular decisions. This impractical expectation can hinder the essence of progress and innovation. By fostering an environment of merit, emotional satisfaction will follow from genuine achievement and recognition.

Conclusion: Balancing Competence with Compassion

As we navigate the complexities of leadership and organizational culture, it’s clear that a balance must be struck. While we acknowledge the importance of team members feeling engaged and valued, we must also guard against the encroachment of a culture that places feelings above the fundamental qualities of competence, contribution, and merit. Our commitment is to foster an environment where respect, professionalism, and performance coalesce, ensuring that our collective efforts are geared towards sustainable success, rather than the fleeting satisfaction of being heard.

In this paradigm, “feeling heard” is recognized for what it should be -— a natural outcome of meaningful engagement and contribution, rather than an end goal in itself. Our mission remains to cultivate a team of competent, confident individuals whose contributions naturally affirm their value, driving our company toward its greatest potential.