Living abroad while your country negotiates in public

Living in India since 2004 and doing business here since 2010, I’ve always felt welcomed and respected. But as U.S.–India negotiations become more public and forceful—especially under President Trump’s current tariff and oil-related pressure tactics—I’ve felt a quiet discomfort. While the Indian officials I deal with remain kind, I worry the tone of these open-air disagreements damages goodwill. In a culture that values face, I wish our leadership used more sugar than salt when engaging valued partners.


I’ve lived in India for most of the past 20 years—since 2004. I started doing business here in 2010, and over the years, I’ve built deep ties with this country: professional, personal, and cultural. I’ve always considered myself not just a guest, but a respectful participant in India’s story, building platforms and companies that I hope serve its people.

But something changes—quietly—when your home country begins negotiating with your host country in ways that feel particularly aggressive or public.

Right now, the United States is taking a firm stand against India on several fronts—imposing or threatening tariffs, discouraging oil imports from Russia, and generally turning up the volume on economic pressure. I won’t comment on the politics of it all. I understand that diplomacy requires leverage, and I trust the long-term relationship between the U.S. and India is strong enough to weather these moments.

But I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t affect me.

We’re currently in the process of registering with the FRRO (Foreigner’s Regional Registration Office), a normal part of living here long-term. It includes home visits and documentation checks. The officers who’ve interacted with us have been, as always, exceedingly kind, respectful, and professional. India has always treated me with warmth—officially and unofficially.

But this time, I felt something different. Not in them—in me.

It’s a quiet discomfort. A subtle sense of embarrassment that my leadership is choosing to conduct such heavy-handed negotiations out in the open. These aren’t back-channel discussions or quiet policy shifts—they’re public messages, often delivered in sharp, transactional terms. And while I’m certain both nations will land on good terms eventually, I’m also aware of the importance of tone and face in a country like India.

India is a big face-saving culture. Respect, mutual acknowledgment, and diplomacy are valued—even in disagreement. So when the U.S. adopts a style that leans more toward salt than sugar, it creates ripples. It might secure some short-term concessions, but it also leaves bruises that don’t show up in trade data.

And for those of us on the ground—those of us living here, hiring here, partnering here—it becomes a little harder to maintain that image of a grateful guest. A respectful collaborator. An equal.

I know that America values its relationship with India. I know our leaders understand its strategic and economic importance. I know this phase will pass. But I also know that diplomacy doesn’t happen in isolation—it echoes into the lives of people like me, who have spent years building trust across cultures.

I’ve always believed diplomacy works best when it’s measured and respectful. In this particular case with India, I think we’d do better showing less public aggression and more restraint—more quiet confidence in the strength of the relationship. India is a country that values dignity and mutual respect, and while I’m confident our long-term partnership will endure, I’d prefer we handled these moments in a way that reflects not just power, but poise.

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